Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2013

January, Life After Break

When I looked in the mirror my heart sank. I had grown my hair out for six months and it was the longest it had been ever been. I liked how it looked but the ends rustled like a bag of potato chips. The bangs could be trimmed ever so slightly but I did not want them school-girl-at-the-eyebrows length.

The stylist listened, trimmed and blow dried gently to keep the curls. When she was done my eyes were drawn to the two puffy wings my bangs had become. Think Dilbert's boss with rectangles.  She hadn't cut that much off. How could they elevate like that? Before I went to the salon I asked myself, "what DO I want?" and still ended up with exactly what I didn't. It was an inauspicious start to my day but summed up my January so far.

I've been stressed these past two weeks. As a bookkeeper for my husband's, and two other, small businesses, January means preparing the books for the accountants to do year end taxes. I had been feeling good about the work I'd done through December until the spreadsheet whose formulas I had avoided all year needed to be updated. Yesterday. "When will the books be ready for the accountant?" "Can I get back to you on that?"

The client's emails arrive day and night. 'Would I prepare the 1099's?' Didn't know that was my job, but yes. 'Can you call Vendor today about this bill?' The business account is current-are you sure it's not personal? 'Can you cut an employee reimbursement check?' Yes, but I need supporting documentation. I cross one task off the list but add two more.

By late afternoon I'm ready to nap on the couch but the kids come home from school. "Mom! Mom!" they call and I can't make out what comes next because two, sometimes three, children talk to me at the same time, oblivious to each other, certain they, not their brothers, are being heard. I run to the optometrist's to replace the eyeglasses bent by an errant soccer ball. I field a phone call from the mom whose son was reduced to tears by mine and proceed to conduct an internal investigation. I make a note to set up conference with teacher about unfair consequences for child's missing homework. I fret that I'll lose all the progress I made in physical therapy because I haven't done my exercises in a week.

I tick things off my list, feel like I'm getting ahead, only to receive an email, phone call, or other reminder of something waiting to consume my precious time. I haven't folded laundry since last Thursday. The kids haven't had clean socks in three days. I hope they don't run out of underwear before Saturday.

I'm grateful to have a job. I work from home, set my own hours. I can avoid the weekend Costco crowds by going mid-day, mid-week to feed my four tapeworms. But man, I'm tired. The past few nights I am out when my head hits the pillow and don't recall dreaming.  At 10 o'clock tonight I programmed the coffee pot for the next morning and was thrilled to go to bed early but I never made it there. I spent the next hour composing a response to an email my son's science teacher sent about an incident at school.  Here it is midnight, my eyes burning like coals, and I'm typing a blog post because I'm annoyed at myself for not having written one in months (again).

Over winter break the entire family was sick with a virus. Fever, runny noses, fatigue. We stayed in our pajamas all day and didn't leave the house. In between naps, I learned how to use our Nexus 7 tablet and the kids taught me how to play Temple Run. By week's end I was thoroughly relaxed.

I rang in the New Year reluctantly because January has too many school holidays and unpredictable weather. My body resisted the quicker pace demanded of it but it wasn't long before my peace was left, like a hippie, to hitchhike on the side of the road. Winter Break's lack of obligations and appointments still tempts me like flannel sheets on a cold night. So much so that I want to riff from a popular jam commercial, "Could you please pass the virus?"

Monday, April 30, 2012

Ugly Winners, Ugly Parents

They're easy to spot.  Against league rules, they coach from the sidelines.  On the pitch they excoriate young referees until they're afraid to blow the whistle.  At Little League games they overrule the umpire's calls.  The whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of their rotors is a dissonant background noise.
  
Helicopter parents at two recent sporting events prompted a discussion about sportsmanship with my children.  When my son's soccer team lost 11-0 to a highly skilled team, they were demoralized.  I felt compelled to explain how poorly this reflected on the other team's coach and parents.  Humiliating others demonstrates a lack of integrity.

On the diamond helicopter parents called their players safe at first then proceeded to call out an opposing player because he ran out of the base path.  "Those are the rules!" an HP grandparent shouted.  If you're a stickler for rules then how about abiding by league's guidelines for spectator behavior?

When parents expect their children to win at all cost, they imbue them with a sense of entitlement and lack of empathy.  It's outrageous not to give an eight year old a break when his opponents are ahead by more than six runs.

I'm not raising crybabies.  Losing fosters the desire to win and makes kids more resilient.  When their best effort isn't good enough they focus on what to do to improve.  Failure helps them appreciate success.  Losing is hard but doesn't have to be ugly. 

Helicopter parents will continue to be an unsavory part of my children's athletic life but, going forward, when my kids see them I want them to think, "When I grow up, I'll be better than that."


I dig teachable moments.